To "Want" or not to "Want"

    To "Want or not to "Want"?  That is the question ...
   Dom and I  went out the other night to talk and hang out. I began to share with him the things that i needed and wanted from him and this relationship. After i was done talking he told me how  impressed he is with how much i want put into this relationship and how hard i try by constently recomending( not complaining) things that only will improve our relationship. He told me that he "Wants" to be those things and will give me what i need because he "Wants" to. We had a "ah ha" moment and realized how mos men  "Complain" about their women  who "Complain" by saying, " I want you to hold me more" or "I want you to kiss me more"  Dang! If thats complaining then my man has it the worst in the world! I cant stand it when i talk to other women about relationships and some say to me, "Thats just the way men are" and  "we have to accept that men are different than women" or "we cant change a man"..... That's BS!!!  Times are so hard and with the hustle and bustle, and stresses of todays times we tend to forget or become lazy in our relationship with our mates and with our children. But NOT ME!!! Heck NO! I have seen too much in my young life to ever let it happen to me. As long as you have someone who "Wants " to listen to what your feelings, your needs and wants are then you have someone who will "Want" (there goes that word again) to give that to you, be that person or improve omethimg about themselves. I find that talking about my feelings or wants while hes at work or here at home doesn't seem to work aswell as if we were out alone or the kids were asleep..  He is already in High stress environment, and it doesn't change when he gets home cuz of the kids. He says that hes listening  to me but i know better. So, try talking with no distractions around..
  I lacked so much growing up but i am not going to lack it now. My man will not be a lacker or a slacker!!  I have too much faith in my man and my relationship.  Both of us are responsible for this relationship but  I remind him that the Lord looks to the man as head of the house hold and he is the one the Lord will look to for anwers.  Look it up, its in the Bible.  And that  pushes, and pumps him up so much!   Becuase like i said, "Sometimes we can forget and we need a little reminding, pushing, and encouraging".  like saying, "We used to hold eachother at night"  Avoid "You" statements because it will only put him or her on defense, and a good trick is to talk about your feelings or what you want in a form of a question cuz then you get a better understaning on how he thinks and feels about it. for example: What do u feel about us taking salsa lessons once a week?  How do u feel about us going dancing or doing a movie once a week?" instead of saying, "I want u to take me to a movie once a week".. 
We are not perfect and its ok to make mistakes.. Im not saying that we cant make or aren't allowed to make mistakes. I encurage mistakes, we must all fall, fall, fall and get right back up again, because thats what makes us better, wiser people and helps us to grow.  Watching him, myself or our children get right back up  is the best thing in the world!  I make mistakes all the damn time! In my relashinship with my man and my kids, because like i said the stresses of today do affect us and we can become lazy or forget. Its ok to make mistaks so long as we learn from them and "Do" something to change it and not letting it happen again. As long as we "Want" to try then anyone can change. Answer this? If your child was running a race and he/she kept stumbleing to the point that hewas so far behind that there was no way he would win but he kept getting up and finished eventhough he didn't win. Would you be dissapointed that he didn't win or proud that he didn't give up? Your child "WANTED" to try, to finish, to NOT GIVE UP. Why you might ask? Because he/she saw you standing there not in dissapointment but you kept encouraging him to get up. The same goes for your relationship. But only with someone who "Wants" it just as bad as you do.   Always communicate, communicate, communicate.